Adjusting to Memory Care: How Long Can It Take?

Transitioning Into Memory Care

Adjusting to any major change can be difficult, and that’s especially true when your loved one is transitioning to life in a memory care community. While it’s impossible to know just how long the adjustment period will last, it can be reassuring to know there are ways to ease the process for all involved.

Considering a Move to Memory Care: What to Keep In Mind

You want to make the right choice that gives your loved one every opportunity to continue to feel loved, cared for, and safe. Today’s memory care programming, such as that provided in The Herrick House’s Spectrum Memory Care, can promote compassion, dignity and respect in a safe and secure environment. In addition, every effort is made to provide failure-free activities that promote feelings of success and accomplishment.

But there’s no denying the first few days, weeks, or even months can be a challenge for some residents and their families. It’s important to remember that many of the reactions—such as anxiety, agitation, or confusion—are not necessarily due to the move, but instead can be traced to the effects of cognitive impairment. In other words, you are not to blame.

While there is no way to predict exactly how long the transition will take, there are things you can do to ease the process.

Before the Move to Memory Care:

• Do not tell your loved one in advance about the move. There’s no benefit to informing them of the change as it most likely can lead to worry or anxiety. You could tell them on the day of the move instead. Another suggestion is to take advantage of respite services offered by the memory care community, whether through an initial short stay or a day program.

This gives your Mom or Dad an opportunity to safely socialize with other residents and caregivers, while your family also can become more familiar with the staff.

• Fibbing can save the day. According to the Alzheimer’s Society, it’s helpful to have a response ready if your loved one wants to know why he or she can’t go home. It could be that your home is being sprayed for bugs, or you will be out of town, or any other excuse why it’s not an option… thus the need for your parent to stay in the “hotel.”

Such therapeutic fibbing helps you step into their reality and spares them unnecessary upset. Make sure the staff is familiar with the message, so all communication is consistent.

After the Move to Memory Care:

• Help them feel at home. Decorate your loved one’s room with some familiar mementos, furniture and photos. You can work with the staff to be sure to keep pathways open and create a comfortable, reassuring sense of home.
• Give them a chance to settle in. Many families want to spend time with their loved ones during the first few days. But advice from Alzheimer’s Association suggests staying away for at least the first few days, so your loved one can have time to develop relationships with those around them. If you are there too soon, you might cause confusion and anxiety about the fact the staff is not really their family.
• When it’s right, engage often. At some point, it will become clear that Mom or Dad is comfortable in their surroundings and has built a connection with their caregivers as well as those around them. This is a great time for you and your family to participate in programs and activities with them, occasionally dine with them, and make regular visits.

It Will Get Better

In the early days of moving a loved one to memory care, it can feel very lonely. Families often struggle with guilt and doubts. Part of this is because the person involved can’t participate in the decision due to their disease. Instead, it’s up to you, and that’s quite a burden to bear.

But by keeping in mind how today’s exceptional memory care can truly benefit your loved one, you can have confidence that you are making the right decision. And even though the first days, weeks or even months might be rocky, things will get better. As your loved one adjusts to the caring, supportive and safe environment of memory care, they will be more able to relax, make friends, and enjoy a better quality of life.

The North Shore’s Most Trusted Assisted Living Community

We are here to help. The Herrick House is a resort-like assisted living and memory care community located in a picturesque setting in Beverly, Massachusetts. The moment you walk through our doors, you’ll feel welcomed by the comfortable, homelike ambiance. We’d love to tell you more.

Download our free guide, Early Signs of Dementia, or contact us. We’d love to hear from you.