Signs Your Aging Parent Needs Help: What a Holiday Visit Can Reveal

Observing an Aging Parent During a Holiday Visit

Getting together during the holidays can be a joyous occasion. It can also reveal when an aging parent is struggling living on their own. Here are some signs to watch for on a holiday visit that could suggest it’s time to have a conversation about whether your loved one could benefit from a more supportive lifestyle. 

What To Look For, and What It Could Mean

Calendar Confusion

If your aging parent seems to be unaware it’s time for the holidays, or if you have made arrangements to stay with them and they seem surprised when you arrive, find out why. Did they lose track of a few days, or do they seem detached from what is happening?

Isolation

Does it seem your parents haven’t been going out lately? Are they missing long-standing social events or passing up invitations? There could be several reasons, including fear of driving or using public transportation, worries over getting lost, or mobility issues. It’s also possible they are forgetting about these events. See if you can detect a pattern during your holiday visit.

A Home That Is Not Picked Up

You might notice your parent’s house looks messier than usual. Piles of laundry stacked up. Mail that has not been opened. Dishes in the sink. Other sources of clutter. Try to determine if it’s due to a change in mobility, balance or poor vision, or if they have just fallen behind in housecleaning. It could also suggest the onset of dementia.

Poor Personal Hygiene

It’s certainly okay for an aging parent to be casual and comfortable in their home. But if they seem to be ignoring hygiene, such as bathing, dressing properly, combing their hair or brushing their teeth, something else could be up. Try to find out if they are aware of their appearance. It might be due to memory issues or something as simple as buttons have become too hard to button.

Bruises And Signs Of Falling

Falls remain the leading cause of fatal and non-fatal injuries among seniors. If your parents or older loved ones show signs of bruising, assess their environment. Are they tripping over stacks of
newspapers? Is there a slippery throw rug that needs to be removed? It might only be a matter of decluttering, adding better lighting or getting some occasional in-home help to take care of the problem.

Not Taking Medications As Directed

If during your holiday visit you notice prescriptions are going unfilled, medicine is outdated or any other such irregularity, it could be time to consider a lifestyle where your parent is not living on their own. Medication mishaps are a dangerous occurrence that can cause real problems and should not be ignored.

Changes In Their Weight

Sudden weight loss or gain could suggest difficulty getting proper nutrition. Ask your mom or dad if they are eating regular meals. Check the refrigerator for spoiled food and see how much food is in there. Are they still able to get to the market for food items? What about cooking safely? Changes in eating can be due to a loss of appetite, often caused by medications. It’s also possible they are simply bored eating every meal alone and at home.

Dents In The Car Or The Garage

If your parent is still driving, ask them how they feel about being in traffic, driving at night, rush hour, etc. They might already have doubts about their ability to drive but have been hesitant to reveal them. Encourage them to be honest and reassure them you are not trying to take away their independence, just help them get around in a safe manner.

Your holiday visit revealed an aging parent is struggling. Now what?

Before coming to a conclusion about anything you have observed, consider taking your parent to see their family physician or a gerontologist to rule out any new physical or cognitive ailments. This will give you an opportunity to discuss the results of the exam with your parent and find out how he or she feels about it.

It might be as simple as having a home health aide stop by a few days a week. But it also might be time to consider a more supportive lifestyle, where someone is always available to lend a hand.

At The Herrick House, your loved one can enjoy a beautiful, private living space with ample opportunities for socialization and recreation. While we foster independence in a socially active environment, our residents benefit from 24-hour onsite licensed nursing, personal care assistance and a host of other services.

The lifestyle you deserve. Download your free copy of our Family Decision Toolkit Guide to learn more about options for your loved one.